An Israeli Doctor says in my country, medicine is so far advanced
that we can take a kidney out of a man and put it in
another and he will be out looking for work in six weeks.
A German doctor says that is nothing....we can take a lung out of
one person and put it in another and he will be out looking for work
in four weeks.
A Russian doctor then says in my country, medicine is so far advanced that we can take half a heart from one man and put it in
another and they are both looking for work in two weeks!
The American Doctor that he knows he has them all outdone and says You
guys are way behind.....We just took a man with no brain out of Texas
and put him in the White House... now half the country is looking for
Ariel Sharon, comes to Washington for meetings with George W.
Bush. For the State Dinner, Laura decides to
bring in a special Kosher Chef and have a truly Jewish meal.
At the dinner that night, the first course is served and it is
Matzoh Ball Soup. George W. looks at this and after learning what it is called he
tells an aide that he can't eat such a gross and strange-looking brew.
The aide says that Mr. Sharon will be insulted if he doesn't at
least taste it. Not wanting to cause any trouble, after all he ate sheep's eye in
honor of his Arab guests, George W. gingerly lowers his spoon
into the bowl and retrieves a piece of matzoh ball and some broth.
He hesitates, then swallows and a grin appears on his face. He digs right in and finishes the whole bowl.
"That was delicious," he says to Sharon. "Do the
Jews eat any other part of the Matzoh or just the balls?"
Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the
children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up -- Fireman, policeman, salesman,
David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked
him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off
all his clothes In front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's
really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love
with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the
other children to work on some coloring, and took little David aside
to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said David, "He works for the Bush
administration, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the
One night, George W. Bush is awakened by George Washington's ghost
in the White House. Bush asks "George, what is the best thing I
could do to help the country?" "Set an honest and honorable
example, just as I did," Washington advises.
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the
dark bedroom. "Tom," George W asks, "what is the best
thing I could do to help the country?" "Preserve the fruit
of land for future generations and stay out of foreign affairs,"
Bush isn't sleeping well the next night, and sees another figure
moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what
is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks.
Abe answers "Go see a play."